The Bacon-Croissant Turducken Experiment

So, I’ve been thinking. My wife cringes whenever I say those words. She’s learned over time that this statement can lead to anything. This time, luckily, it is a simple thing. I wanted a place to share my thoughts whenever my annoying brain starts thinking. This could be anything from sharing a political view, to sharing my need to create something artery cloggingly delicious.  Today, we’ll start with the important things in life, the artery cloggingly delicious.

The turducken. I don’t know who thought of this beautiful creature, but I wanted to try it every since the famous (infamous to cardiologists) Turbaconepic. While I wasn’t going to go as crazy as that, at least not on the first try, I had to at least steal the stuffing idea. This took a very long time to make. Including cooking and prep time, it clocked in at 12 hours.

First, you have to debone a turkey, a chicken and a duck. There are lots of tutorials online, and I recommend practicing on the chicken first. If you’ve never deboned a bird before, this is going to take a long time.

Then create the stuffing. I sauteed five pounds of bacon, with six croissants, onions, thyme, parsley, pepper, salt and a few eggs. You’re going to need a big skillet for this one.

Next, comes putting it all together. Due to the size, I had a couple people help me hold it in place.

I wrap it in tin foil to keep it from drying out. I was running out of time, so I had to cook it on 350ºF, but next time, I would lower the temperature to prevent the turkey from drying out. I also removed the tin foil about 30 minutes before it was finished, to make it a bit crispy on the outside. It took six hours to cook this thing all the way through.

Here was the result.

While it definitely tasted incredible, it was a lot of work. This is not something I’d do even annually, but I would save it for a big occasion. Luckily, nothing was set on fire this day. I’ll save that story for another time.