Posts Tagged ‘bacon’

So, I’ve been thinking, I’ve freaking turned 30.

I’ve never cared about age, and I thought that when I turned 30, things would be the same. And, well, I was right. But that won’t stop me from listing the top 5 things I learned on my 30th birthday weekend. OK, to be honest, I already knew most of this stuff, but they were affirmed.

1) I’m never going to grow up. 

When you get up in the morning of your birthday party and you see that your wife has surprised you by turning the house into a superhero theme, you realize you’re still a kid at heart. I’m totally cool with it.

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2) Bacon is amazing

I know your reaction. Well, d’uh. OK fine, we all know the awesomeness of bacon. I’m the guy who stuffed a pig with 5 pounds of bacon. But it never ceases to amaze me. For breakfast, we did bacon pancakes. I didn’t really know how to do it, so we just cooked a piece of bacon, then put it on a pan, poured pancake mix over it, then flipped it when it was ready. Best. Pancake. Ever.

3) Smoking a cigar in a hot tub is awesome

I don’t really have anything to expand on that. It’s just awesome. I would have added a glass of scotch to that, but it was way too cold to get out and grab one.

4) I’m never going to stop talking about real issues

Even sitting in a hot tub, smoking a cigar and celebrating my 30th birthday, I still had several I discussions involving real political and justice issues. I have seen injustices in our system that most people don’t know about, and yet we continue to listen to politicians who either don’t know what’s really going on or just don’t care. After the end of the night, I now know there are several people who are better informed, and are armed with more knowledge that they can now use when they speak to others.

This is who I am. Someone once mentioned that they don’t like the “Liberal propaganda” I spew out, which I find hilarious. Not only did I support the Conservatives for a number of years (I no longer do), anyone who knows me for more than five minutes knows that I’m not a mouth piece for anybody. I form my thoughts and criticisms depending on each issue separately regardless of what any party position is. I will even argue against someone on my side if I fell they’re going too far into rhetoric, rather than logic and reason.

I have a good life. And if don’t use the advantages afforded to me to fight against injustices, even if it’s just with conversations with my friends, then I will be more ashamed of myself than anyone could be.

5) Friends and family are where it’s at

For several years, all I’ve done for my birthday is either go to a simple restaurant, or just hang out at my house with friends and family. This year was no different, and I don’t want that to ever change. I am blessed to have a great family and an awesome group of friends to share my time with. Whether we’re having a drink, sharing jokes, teasing each other or just embarrassing ourselves playing Rock Band, I’m at my happiest when I’m surrounded by these people.

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So, I’ve been thinking. My wife cringes whenever I say those words. She’s learned over time that this statement can lead to anything. This time, luckily, it is a simple thing. I wanted a place to share my thoughts whenever my annoying brain starts thinking. This could be anything from sharing a political view, to sharing my need to create something artery cloggingly delicious.  Today, we’ll start with the important things in life, the artery cloggingly delicious.

The turducken. I don’t know who thought of this beautiful creature, but I wanted to try it every since the famous (infamous to cardiologists) Turbaconepic. While I wasn’t going to go as crazy as that, at least not on the first try, I had to at least steal the stuffing idea. This took a very long time to make. Including cooking and prep time, it clocked in at 12 hours.

First, you have to debone a turkey, a chicken and a duck. There are lots of tutorials online, and I recommend practicing on the chicken first. If you’ve never deboned a bird before, this is going to take a long time.

Then create the stuffing. I sauteed five pounds of bacon, with six croissants, onions, thyme, parsley, pepper, salt and a few eggs. You’re going to need a big skillet for this one.

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Next, comes putting it all together. Due to the size, I had a couple people help me hold it in place.

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I wrap it in tin foil to keep it from drying out. I was running out of time, so I had to cook it on 350ºF, but next time, I would lower the temperature to prevent the turkey from drying out. I also removed the tin foil about 30 minutes before it was finished, to make it a bit crispy on the outside. It took six hours to cook this thing all the way through.

Here was the result.

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While it definitely tasted incredible, it was a lot of work. This is not something I’d do even annually, but I would save it for a big occasion. Luckily, nothing was set on fire this day. I’ll save that story for another time.